Thursday, May 18, 2017

Bachelorette: Meet the Men

It's been a while since I've written anything here...especially Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad/Bachelor in Paradise/Bachelor Breakup recaps, but I feel compelled to do it. I think what really drew me back in was the Tickle Monster, but we'll get to that later.

Next Monday, Rachel's journey on the Bachelorette begins. She has 31 men to meet/date/kiss/dump.

I am going to read all of their bios and list my thoughts below. (From the cast photos, I only think 3 of them are attractive BUT the cast photos are always terrible, so I'll wait until they get out of the limo to judge their looks.)

Visit ABC to read the bios in full.

One dude (and yes, a lot of these guys are dudes and not men) says that the most romantic gift he has ever received was a threesome. Adam. You're terrible.

Wow. Alex's answer to "what are your 3 worst attributes?" is selfish, unemotional, unapologetic. THOSE ARE LITERALLY THE THREE WORST THINGS YOU COULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. And you were one of the guys I thought was attractive. Shame.

Anthony has the best bio so he's either a great guy or a great bullshitter.

Multiple people like The Rock. And Will Smith. And Denzel Washington. And Matthew McConaughey.

A 37 year old man should not be saying LOL.

Inner lip tattoo. (Make that plural.)

Diggy is the worst.

And there's also a guy named Iggy.

Jamey might be a serial killer.

Jonathan is going to get friend-zoned very quickly.

Josiah is A+.

Mohit is going to be the funny guy.

I like Matt. And Peter. And Rob. But I like Anthony the best.

Best(ahem, worst) jobs: Aspiring Drummer (at age 31), Male Model (but totally looks like he just does J.C. Penney catalogs so he's probably unemployed now), Tickle Monster, Professional Wrestler, Singer/Songwriter, Whaboom??? What is whaboom?

I can't wait to "meet" these guys on Monday. This is gonna be fun!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Bachelorette: 8 Remain

So now that Chad is gone, I feel that I can safely discuss the Bachelorette. Not only would his antics have taken up over half of the posts, I would have been living in fear that he would come and find me if I offended him. And I would have offended him.

So. Here's where I stand on the remaining men.

Jordan. Clear frontrunner. Not my type, but seems to be JoJo's. However, I don't believe he'll be the last man standing. Something dramatic will happen, because this is The Bachelorette.

Robby. Dude is fishy. He just had his first one-on-one and already said he's in love with her. He's cute, but something rubs me the wrong way. (Is he the one with the girlfriend?)

Chase. He needs more airtime, cause I'm not sure how I feel about him yet. Yoga date was hot, though. Also, does he look like Jordan and Robby put together or is that just me?

James Taylor. He's the funny, easy-going guy that stays about one more week just to keep everyone laughing. I have a feeling there's gonna be a "Joe" moment where he turns into an angry beast when he gets sent home. Plus, apparently he was in Oxford a few months ago, and from what I've heard from some much younger girls...not such a cool guy.

Derek. There was nothing wrong with Derek's approach in telling JoJo that he wanted to make sure they still had a connection since his one-on-one was so long ago. Not sure why the guys are ganging up on him, because I think the John Krasinski look-a-like is precious. (But also, not my type.)

Alex. Oh, Alex. I actually picked Alex to WIN on my Bachelorette bracket. (Yes, I filled one out. And I have 134/155 points.) But now...I'm like, " no. Send him home NOW." He is not nice. He's way too cocky. And I unfollowed him on Snapchat after only 48 hours because I couldn't stand it. You're on a reality show. Yeah, you have a little fame, but you're not famous. If "your fans" are following you, it's because they want to see your reality. And they don't want to be called fans. They don't want you saying things like, "If my Instagram post gets 10,000 likes, I'll post another one." No. Stop. Just be normal.

Wells. I was so happy he got a rose, even though he was the only one I didn't have on my bracket this week. He is a perfect little man who is always the peacekeeper in the house and seems to be really sweet and funny and smart. And he's cute. I want to be friends with him. Especially since he went to Ole Miss. Hotty Toddy, Wells!

Luke. Luuuuke. Luke needs to stay a few more weeks but then go home so he can prepare to be the Bachelor. And I WILL apply this time. That's how fate works, right? I said I was going to apply with Ben, but Ben wasn't the right guy for me...because Luke is. Tune in next season to watch our love story unfold.

Also, JoJo is my favorite Bachelorette so far, by far.

Who do you think she'll pick? Who would you pick? Isn't Luke perfect?

All photos via ABC.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

The Dating Diaries: Vol 8

The Professor

It all began when I sent a very professional and informative email to 40+ instructors. A few followed up. But one, I wasn't expecting.

"We should drink sometime."

Now, this professor is quite a bit older than me, but I was interested. Why not? We emailed (and then texted) for about a week. Conversation was going well and we set up a date for dinner on a Saturday.

That Friday, I went out for drinks with friends. Professor messaged me and said he would like take me home instead of me getting a cab. Long story short, after having about 4 drinks too many, I decided I wanted the Professor to take me home and called him for a ride. I thought he wanted to "take me home" but he literally just wanted to take me home. This, of course, caused a very awkward walking-to-the-door-conversation, followed by a few drunken texts about the misunderstanding. Out of embarrassment, I canceled dinner. He never spoke to me again. (Which, I think, was a little much.)

Lesson(s) learned: Don't be drunk the first time you hang out with someone. Don't assume that all guys just want to "take you home" (even though most do). And if a guy "ghosts" on you, fa get about em.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The Dating Diaries Return?

So I used to write a little feature on this blog called "The Dating Diaries" where I shared my many disastrous/hilarious dating stories. Then I went and got in a relationship and let myself get boring.

For real, though. The only times I did blog was about home redecorating. Yawn!

Well, I'm back. And so are the dating diaries.

It took me a couple months after my last relationship ended to put myself out there again. But when I was ready, I put on my black leather pants and 4-inch heels and went to a bar with a friend. I was on a mission to find out if I still had it. The moment we walked in, I pointed out the cutest guy in the room & told my wingman to introduce us. He did. And we hit it off. I later found out that he was 5 years younger than me and lived 600 miles away, but he definitely gave me back my confidence.
I have since been on a few nice dates and had a few horror stories...all (most) of which I will share with you. You can look forward to stories like "The Professor", "The Bumble Fumble", and maybe even "The Secret".

And check out my previous disasters by clicking that "dating diaries" label below.