Monday, March 8, 2010
What is Love? Baby Don't Hurt Me.
I've been in four semi-serious relationships in my 22 years.
The first, in high school. He was the new kid. His first day, I noticed him. And the game was on. We dated from freshman year until senior year. Though we had ups and downs, I'd have to say we experienced more downs.
Now, he is married with a beautiful baby girl.
Next, I noticed my friend's brother sure was cute. Game on, round two. We dated for about 6 months or so. This relationship had mostly ups, but in the end I just didn't feel right about it.
Now, he is engaged to a beautiful, sweet girl.
On to college. My first week, I worked in a class of upperclassmen. One of these upperclassmen in particular caught my eye. Here goes round three. This one was the easiest to snag; I have a feeling he had played the game before. Yes, easiest to snag...but hardest to keep. This one was full of downs [fights, breakups, plenty of butting heads]. Maybe we were too much alike, maybe we were too different; I never really figured that out. But either way, after about 9 months, it was over.
Now, he is in a happy, serious relationship.
Summer School before junior year. Come on round four. He sat across the room from me in class. I said, "This guy is gonna be my boyfriend." And, a few months later, he was. This one is harder to reflect on, because it only ended a month ago. We had ups and we had downs in our year and a half. We're still having ups and downs as we're trying to sort things out in our own lives while figuring out if we can still be in each other's.
Okay, so. Now that I've thrown these stories out there, lemme see if I can analyze it.
It's Not the Having. It's the Getting.
Most telling fortune I ever pulled out of a cookie. Am I just in it for the chase? I know I enjoy the chase, I'll admit that. Everyone does. I'm just probably one of the few girls who will admit it. But I don't think I'm in it just for the chase, or I would move onto the next conquest as soon as I conquered the last. Clearly, by the length of thes relationships, that is not the case.
I am the female version of Good Luck Chuck (kind of). Date me for a while and then you'll find your happiness. (Hence all the happy endings these guys have found.)
What the hell is love?
Each of these four guys and I shared those words. Guy One told me after 9 months. I felt it too, so I reciprocated. I knew I loved him. Until Guy Two. What I felt for him was different. So, after 5 months, when he said the words, I thought, "Oh, okay. This is love." Yeah...then Guy Three. I'm in college. I've grown. I'm mature. This. is. definitely. love. 4 months pass and the words come to the surface. Months later, when the relationship ended, I wondered...was it really? Then Guy Four professed the words after 3 months. I knew this was love.
Orrrrr did I?
I was sure it was love with Guy One until Guy Two. Guy Two until Guy Three. Guy Three until Guy Four. When does it stop? Does it stop? How are you supposed to know when it really is love?
Nobody should ever date me because I'm obviously crazy and know nothing about love or relationships.
First and last cheesy blog. Won't happen again :)