Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Oh, baby, won't you cry? Show me there's some tears behind your eyes.

Let me let you in on a little secret. A little privileged information, ya know?
Something I don't really tell a lot of people.

Sometimes when I get a little upset, I cry.
Yeah, so. So what.
What's the big deal?
It's not a big deal; it's normal. People cry all the time.

But I guess the significance for my crying is that I cry when I get a
little upset. If I'm a lot upset, it's a different story. I'm numb. I'm broken, blank, checked out.

When I'm really upset, I can sit still for hours without a thought even passing through my brain. I know a few of my friends are jealous of that. When most people are upset, they wish they could get their minds off of it, like I seem to be able to. But this wall my mind puts up isn't always fun. Sometimes I want to think about it. I want to cry, work through it, and get over it. But I can't. It's just there...but it's not there. I'm just there, with nothing.

I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

So, when something really gets to me, I know it because I don't cry. I don't think. I just sit. Don't be jealous. It's not that great.

In related news: Listen to this song.

Nothing could be worse than numb, so please...use me up.

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