Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Fears! Aaaaaahhhhh.

fear   [feer]
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

afraid   [uh-freyd]
1. feeling fear; filled with apprehension: afraid to go.

I'm afraid. I have fears. I have the typical life-long fears of rejection and failure, as most people do. I mean, really, who isn't afraid of some kind of failure? Nobody. Nobody normal anyway. But aside from those, I have three other fears.

I am afraid of spiders.

I can't even post a picture of a spider for your viewing horror pleasure because I am not only afraid of real live creepy crawling spiders...but of fake spiders, and of pictures of spiders, even pictures of fake spiders. I seriously get the heebie jeebies.

A few weeks ago, in a mall in Memphis, outside a Spencers/Hot Topic-esque store, a woman was playing with a remote controlled tarantula. I knew it was fake. But I still almost had a panic attack. I had to cover my eyes and swiftly run calmly walk in the other direction.

Yesterday, I was traumatized. Traumatized. I got in my car to head to work. I rolled my windows down and turned my music up, as I always do. Then I noticed a huge brown thing with eight legs hanging from my open window right beside my head. I freaked. I let go of the steering wheel so I could use both hands to roll up the window. I still haven't quite figured out why I did this because it only takes one finger to push the button. When the window was safely closed and the spider was on the outside, I decided to grab the wheel seconds before I would have plummeted into the ditch on the other side of the road. Luckily, I reached a stop sign with no one behind me. I put my car in park and caught my breath. Then I looked to see if the spider was still there. He was. I drove faster than usual to work, in hopes that he wouldn't be able to hold on and would go flying into the air and hopefully to certain death. No luck with that. When I arrived at work and put my car in park, I looked out the window again to check out the situation. He was clinging to my car, just above my door. I was already late for work so I thought I could open the door and jump out really quick. I tried...and failed. I opened the door just a crack and he tried to attack me! I slammed my door, screamed like an 8 year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert, and thought about my escape plan. After a few minutes of staring at the spider making sure it wasn't going to break into my car and get me...I climbed into the back seat, exited through the back passenger door, and ran toward the office.

Later that day, I made Michael go out to my car to kill the spider. He, to my dismay, did not kill the spider. Instead, he removed him her pregnant self from my window and set her on the ground. Those babies think my car is their home...and I just know they're gonna come back and attack me one day.

On a similar, yet different note...other bugs don't bug me. You like what I did there? I don't mind them. I mean, I'm not gonna have them as pets, but I don't cry when I see them. This morning, I got stung by a wasp that decided he wanted to live on my purse. It was my first ever sting, and though I didn't enjoy it...it wasn't too bad. I'm not allergic and I'm just thankful he wasn't a spider.

*UPDATE- this post had been written but not yet published when Michael got to work and scared me with a gigantic fake spider. NOT COOL.

I am afraid of deep water.

I'm not afraid of the water per say, or even being on a boat in it...but I am afraid of being left out there. I'm a decent swimmer, and I can tread water like a champion, but being left alone in the middle of the ocean? That is just a terrifying thought...being out there in the middle of it all with all those creatures and water and wind and waves and no land. So frightening.

But, my biggest fear...and possibly strangest...

I am afraid of losing teeth.

I've had dreams about losing my teeth. I've had dreams about my friends losing their teeth. It's a pretty regular thing for me to wake up and check my mouth to make sure my teeth are still there. I take extra precaution when walking on uneven surfaces not so I won't trip and make a fool of myself but so I won't trip and knock my teeth out. I brush my teeth more often than most because I don't want them to rot and fall out. If something doesn't feel right with my teeth, I freak out and make sure they're okay.

I loved losing my baby teeth. I usually pulled them out before they were quite ready to leave my mouth. Maybe that's why I'm so scared of losing my adult teeth? I know they won't be replaced with new ones. While writing these two paragraphs, I've run my tongue across my teeth at least 50 times to make sure they're okay. So. Scary.

So those are my 3 phobias. What are your biggest fears?


  1. Faye- I'm LOVING your blog too. My favorite is "want it wednesdays," so cute! Thanks for your encouraging words- I appreciate them!
    I have a fear of spiders too. I've been bitten by a brown recluse- SO SCARY.
    I'm scared of snakes because I stepped on one when I was little. I'm obsessed with being scared of people I love dying.

  2. Just remember - Spiders never forget.

    I'm not afraid of deep water but I have to agree that spiders and losing teeth are both pretty scurry.