Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dream Lessons

I dream every night. I remember my dreams every morning. I'm kind of like a dream Wizard. I'm also a dream psychic because each time one of my ex boyfriends got engaged (and they all did) I had the same dream about them the night prior.


The other night, I had this dream:

I wake up at my mother's house. I shower. It is 5 a.m. I'm up early because I'm getting married that day1. I notice one of our wedding invitations on the kitchen table. It says the wedding is at 5:45 a.m. WHAT? I call my groom freaking out.

"Do you realize all our guests are expecting a 5:45 a.m. wedding? In 45 minutes? The invitation was supposed to say PM2 but it says AM! What are we going to do?"

"We're going to get married, that's what we're gonna do. I don't care what time it is, I just want to marry you3."

"But I can't be ready in 45 minutes4. We need to call everyone and tell them the invitations were wrong." 

"Let's just get married. It will be perfect, I promise5."

"I have to go. Call you back."

I call Lindsay.

"Lindsay. My invitations sent out saying the wedding is at 5:45 a.m. instead of p.m. What am I going to do?"

"Yeah? We're waiting on you! We're all ready."

"No! It's supposed to be PM! I can't get married in 456 minutes. I have to call everyone and tell them it's tonight."

"Faye, it's too late. Plus, I'm leaving town at 2 so if you push it back, I can't be in it7."

The stress. The confusion. I call off the entire wedding and feel immediately relieved. 

Rachel and Lindsay show up at my door with a copy of the real invitation. The one that says the wedding is at 5:458 p.m. They had orchestrated the obstacle as a test to see if I really wanted to marry this guy because they didn't think I did.

1. I don't know why I'm at my mother's house cause I'm sure as hell not getting married in my hometown.
2. Who gets married at 5:45 p.m.?
3. Too sweet.
4. I could totally get ready in 45 minutes.
5. Seriously, too sweet.
6. By this time, I'm sure it's more like 25 minutes.
7. Bitch.
8. Seriously, who gets married at 5:45 p.m.?

Key things to pick up from this dream:

When you're ready to be with someone/get married, it shouldn't matter when or where.

Make sure your friends are smart enough to try to stop your wedding sooner than the day of if they are having doubts.

I think I broke mystery groom's heart. Sorry, dude.


  1. hahaha your dream's are amazing!!! whenever mine actually make sense and have a clear beginning, middle, and end, they're almost ALWAYS scary nightmares that should be on a TV show instead of in my head.

  2. Haha! This is hilarious. How dare your friends not help you realize you didn't want to marry him before the morning of your wedding?? Lol.

  3. i remember my dreams too! everyone thinks its bizarre/

  4. hahaha OMG this is so in detail I love it...way to have a super meaningful dream! I always remember details of my dreams too! We are the same person!

  5. You make me laugh. Seriously. Thank you. (And since today is the 19th anniversary of the day of my disastrous marriage, I say listen to your dream, listen to your friends, and RUN if you ever have the slightest red flag when the time comes for you! (Oh - and your friend's wedding gown from your just previous blog post is absolutely gorgeous.)

  6. @brookeiam -- Thankfully, I rarely have nightmares. But when I do...they're awful!

    @Katie -- Seriously. And a fake invitation that says I'm having a sunrise wedding? How crazy!

    @Lindsey Leigh -- Everyone thinks I'm weird, too. And they say most people don't dream in color? I've never dreamed any other way. Also, I can tell when I'm dreaming and stay in the dream.

    @Kai -- Yes, we are. Except you're more stylish!

    @Sue -- I always run from red flags. And orange flags. And pink flags. Basically, I always run. That's probably a problem. Oh well.