It has been about two years since my last relationship ended. And now I am finally ready to move on.
Even though I was the one who ended it, it took me nearly two years to decide that I really can move on. Not move on from it...but move on to something else. For the past 2 years, my heart has been closed off. Not just to relationships, but to all aspects of my life. It's been kinda lonely.
On the relationship front - I've had a fling here and there, crushes solely based on appearances, and a couple dates (not really - haven't been on any dates) but my heart was always closed.
On the friendship front - I've been such a fake. My close friends found me out, but to the rest of you...sorry. My heart just hasn't been in anything.
I always say "no regrets" but I often thought ending things with him was a mistake. He was tall, thin, and handsome (my type). We had an entertaining "how we met" story (which we all know is important). We got along great (except for the times when we didn't get along at all). Hell, our names even rhymed.
All the big things (morals, kids, religion, politics) fit for us. But the small things didn't.
Some of those small things can't even be named...because I don't know what they were. I just always felt like it wasn't perfect enough.
But a while after the breakup (i.e., when he got engaged), I started having my doubts. Was it perfect enough? Am I just too picky? Will I always be looking for more? Did I miss out on "the one"? (I mean, come on...our names RHYMED!)
Now I know, perfect as he may be...he wasn't perfect for me. He's a wonderful guy (and is now happily married). I'm truly happy for him (so cliche to say) because he really deserves it.