Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Dating Diaries: Vol 6


Disclaimer: This is not a dating story, so there will be slightly less drama than my last few DD posts. This is just my thoughts on relationships from the past. Well, the end to those relationships.

I don't believe you get closure from the person you were dating. It comes from within. It comes from time. It comes from friends. It comes from God. Anywhere but that person.

I've ended relationships that left someone asking why. I've been left asking the same question. Why? Why even ask? You will never be satisfied with the answer. And it won't help you move on. Was there something you could have done differently? Maybe, but you didn't do it. And now it's too late. Was the timing just off? Possibly, but do you really want to wait around until the timing is "on"? No. Will it ever be? Probably not. Was the other person just a jerk? Very likely. And who wants to date a jerk anyway?

I don't need closure. When something is done, it's done. And that's enough for me. I don't need to hash it out or have a conversation about what went wrong or what wasn't there. Something went wrong and something wasn't there. You don't have to explain your side to me and I don't want to explain my side to you. It is what it is.


Anyone else feel this way?

Monday, April 29, 2013

Stories From my Weekend

The time we spent $100 at a gas station

Thursday night, my roommate's friend called her upset. She wanted to come over and get her mind off things and asked us to pick up some Bud Light Straw-ber-ita. (Because what problems aren't solved on a back porch with friends and alcohol? I know all mine are.) We searched the shelves of the gas station for straw-ber-itas. After a long search (and deciding to also pick up a case of normal beer), we found it. On the bottom shelf sat the case of Straw-ber-ita 24oz cans. 15 Straw-ber-ita 24oz cans. Upon picking it up, I thought, "I wonder if these are sold individually and they just haven't opened this case yet?" But we took it to the counter anyway. The attendant giggled as he asked what we were planning for the night. He then opened the case, took out one of the 24oz cans, scanned it, and typed "x15". The register displayed "60.00". And that was before he scanned the $20 case of beer. Regardless of our mistake, we had a good night. And now we have 13 24oz cans of Bud Light Straw-ber-itas on hand.

The time my ex cock-blocked me

I saw my ex-fling at the bar two nights in a row. Both nights, he spotted me from across the bar and made a bee-line for me. He chatted for far too long, told me I looked good, and hugged me a little too tight. I understand remaining cordial and even possibly being friends one day, but we called it quits less than a week ago. There's no need for that much attention. When he walked away, I turned to my friend and asked, "why did he just stand here for so long? That was painfully awkward." Her response? "He must be cock-blocking you." Totally. 

The time we ran through a lightening storm

Saturday night, upon leaving the bar, it began POURING rain and lightening. Because it was Double Decker this weekend, the Square was completely blocked off, so our cab was picking us up about 2 blocks away. We ran through the rain, saw huge lightening bolts, and ended up getting in the cab soaking wet. This was not helped by the time I twisted my ankle at the baseball game earlier that day.

The time I met the cutest little baby

I don't spend all my time drinking and falling down, I promise. Sunday, I whipped up some chicken spaghetti to take to my friends who are new parents. (Recipe coming soon.) Baby Cole is the cutest (and youngest, at 5 days old) baby I have ever seen. I did not hold him because you all know that babies scare me and I've only ever held one and I almost had a panic attack. (Well, you know that now, anyway.)

How was your weekend? Do you have any stories to tell?

Friday, April 26, 2013

Why I Blog

Today, I'll be using "Friday's Letters" to explain Why I blog.

For myself. Writing is my outlet. Whether I'm writing something serious or something silly...or even just doodling song lyrics. Writing has always been my go-to when I need to think through deep feelings. When I finally had one too many post it notes lyings around, I decided to digitize my thoughts and started this blog. For my friends. My blog isn't one of those where nobody that I know in real life knows about it (though sometimes I wish it was). I share funny, sad, and sweet stories that my friends love to read. We're all scattered over the globe now (from the MS coast to NYC to Dallas to San Diego) so face to face interaction doesn't get to happen all that often. For my mom. Just to embarrass her. For the community. Blogging brings together so many people from across the world! I have made great friendships through blogging. And even those bloggers with whom I don't have a personal friendship, I feel like I do because I read about their life daily. And lastly, for the link ups. Like these three I'm joining today.

Jimmy Iovine Ft. Ab-Soul by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis on Grooveshark
This is my jam. And yes I know all the words.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Worn One Time

Ladies & Gentlemen...(well, mommies & expectant mommies & people who plan to be mommies in the future...or daddies, y'all too) I present to you...

My friend (and first time mom) Trinity has put together this great place for you to recycle (re-sell!) all of those precious monogrammed clothes that your baby no longer wears. It's good for the Earth, for your pocketbook, for closet space...and for little boys & girls out there who have the same name or initials as your little one.

Not to rain on the parade of your babe's unique name, but I'm sure there's another 
little Lily or Aiden or Metta World Peace out there who can wear those duds!

Check out WornOneTime!

Website - Facebook - Twitter

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


I have so many good posts floating around in my head and it would be a real shame if I just let them spill out without proper care. So, this morning. You get gibberish. (Because I missed you and wanted to post something.)

+I had a great time on vacation in Dallas. I bought this.
+I reread The Great Gatsby. It gets better every time. I cannot wait for the movie.
+I don't listen to country music, but this song is hilarious and awesome.
+I gave a second chance to someone who didn't even deserve the first. I'm sure we all know how that turned out. 
(Go ahead, say it. You told me so.)
+These guys are my current obsession. I can't get enough.
+My April goals aren't a complete failure so far. I'm ready to set some more for May!

Now, what's going on with you?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

"Pick up another bad habit and let the games begin."

Last week, I was on the phone with B (my best friend from college) discussing plans for my potential visit. I had decided that because we're going to the beach in May and I already have plans to visit him in Dallas in July, August, and October, that it might not be such a good idea to go in April, too. Honestly, I just didn't want to drive all that way. 

So we got off the phone, both a little disappointed. And then he called me back about 15 minutes later with the news that I was coming because he had just booked me a plane ticket. Now I only have to drive two hours to the airport each way. 
I leave tomorrow. Woop woop.

But my semi-spontaneous trip to Dallas this weekend isn't even what I'm excited about. (Don't worry, B, I am excited.) But. One month from today. 30 days from today, I will be at the hangout music fest. On the beach. With B. Wearing this:

and this:

and this:

And watching this:

B and I are both slightly obsessed with Macklemore.

Only slightly.

Are you?

Cowboy Boots by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis on Grooveshark

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


I went to Boston once for five days and it stole my heart.

Prayers for you, my favorite city.

Prayers for all of you in every other city, too.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Friday's Confessions

Click to Link Up


This might be a little bragadocious, but I confess that... I have so many things I'm looking forward to that I'm getting overwhelmed. This weekend in Oxford is the Grove Bowl, Grace Potter in the Grove, a crawfish boil, and a home baseball series against Alabama. Next weekend I'm going to Dallas. Then we have Double Decker and a home baseball series against Kentucky. The month will end with a Band of Horses concert...and then the next six months are already jam packed. Cue panic/excitement attack.


I confess that... I'm very bad about not wanting to go to the doctor or take medicine. My eyes have been red for a couple weeks and I was just dealing with it. (My sister's dog chewed up my glasses and I have been wearing my contacts daily. I just assumed that my dry eyes were not used to that.) Then I was told a story about a friend of a friend of a friend who had red eyes and didn't go to the doctor and now he's blind in one eye. I'm almost sure it was fabricated, but it was enough to get me to see a doctor. Well, as long as I can find somewhere that takes walk-ins.


I confess that... I almost made a very stupid drunk dial last night. I immediately realized it was a no-no and put my phone away. And then I left it away and forgot to bring it to work. I'm currently feeling some mixture of refreshment and anxiety without it.


And finally, I confess that... I only blogged today so I could participate in this linkup.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Brothers & Sisters

Because yesterday was National Sibling Day...
"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." - Maya Angelou

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


This morning, I stumbled upon an article titled "Top 25 Sexiest Campuses in the USA". And, to no surprise really, my college is ranked #1.

I'd like to say that I helped.

freshman sass

But in reality...I probably just contributed to our top 5 party school ranking.

Happy Hump Day! (Let's all go back to college.)

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Dating Diaries: Vol 5


I was seeing this guy and even though I am terrified of becoming an "us", I was finally ready to give it a shot. We started out casual, but about two months in, he referred to himself as my boyfriend and told me he wasn't seeing anyone else. That scared the shit out of me...but I was also very excited. 

Everything was there. First and foremost, he was hot. (I know that's not the most important thing, but I'm not gonna lie and say it doesn't matter.) He was sweet. Like sickening sweet. If I wasn't on the receiving end of the sweetness, I would have been grossed out. He seemed to genuinely care about me. There were some other great aspects, too. (Winky face.)

And then the devil got involved. (the devil = Facebook) The day after he declared our relationship exclusive (well, that's what I thought he meant when he said he was my boyfriend and told me he wasn't seeing anyone else), a girl started posting on his wall. It began with a simple smiley face.

"your boyfriend" likes this.

Then it was a duck faced selfie.

"your boyfriend" likes this.

Then it was something so obscene, I won't post it. It was a meme and it involved a picture of a tongue and a picture of a rooster. I think you can figure it out.

[obscene meme]
"your boyfriend" likes this.

I was confused/furious/devastated/appalled. I sat on it for a few days, as girls do, and then I blew up. Except I didn't really blow up because I was calm. I told him I needed a few days to clear my head. I told him that my feelings were hurt and I didn't like what was going on with this girl.

Then he admitted that he's never even met her. I think I laughed out loud when he said that, but it was because it stung, not because it was funny. It hurt even worse that he was wandering to a girl that he didn't even know. In that moment, I realized I didn't need a few days. I knew that it wasn't going to work.

Seriously. Hasn't he seen Catfish? Is it bad that I hope she's really a 400 pound man that is catfishing him? Just so he feels like an even bigger idiot when he realizes that he's lost me. (Oh, and also because I want Nev to come film in Oxford so I can meet him and we can date.)

Oh, but then it got even worse. This guy that I invested my time and my feelings in decided to stray...and it became my fault.

Seriously? Ouch!

All of my other Dating Diaries posts have been about past experiences that I've had time to think about and reflect on. 
This one is fresh. Four days fresh. I don't think I need to do much reflecting here. I'm pretty sure he's out of the running for potential boyfriend, friend, and even lowly acquaintance. Don't you?

Monday, April 8, 2013

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

Happy Monday!

I had a rough day on Friday. It had a little something to do with a man boy. Don't worry, you'll get to read about it tomorrow.

But even though that's how my weekend got started and I was hurt (and still am)...it ended up being a great one. My friends wouldn't let me stay in and pout. So, Friday night, we went to the baseball game and then out to the bar. We drank and we danced and we laughed and I felt better. Then I got up early Saturday morning and drove to Missouri to witness two friends get married. We drank and we danced and we laughed and I felt better. Sunday, we made it back to Oxford for the baseball game. We didn't drink or dance but I felt better.

Every day, I'll feel better. Because I have the best friends in the world.

Cheers to a great week!

This was 19 years ago today.
My music blog now has posts!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Dating Diaries: Vol 4

It's Not You...It's Me.

I've mentioned before that my last serious relationship ended in 2010. Three years ago. I have told everyone (and myself) that I ended it because there were things about him that I didn't think I could handle for the rest of my life. (He walked slow. He talked slow. He always scratched his head while ordering food. He mixed up your and you're.) But really...it was the thought of "for the rest of my life" that bothered me the most. Because I knew, eventually, that's where it was headed. I was about to graduate college. He had graduated the year before and stayed in Oxford...for me. To wait on me. To wait on us. And that terrified me because I don't think I'm cut our for "us".

I had been casually seeing a guy for a couple months. I had a great time with him, but it was very casual. As far as I knew, we weren't exclusive. Then I had the opportunity to casually see someone else. And even though we weren't exclusive, I turned it down because I only wanted to see him. And in that moment, I realized that it was probably time to end things. Because I don't think I'm cut out for "us".

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

fünf Dinge

Five Things

My heritage is German and Scottish. My dad's dad was born in Germany in 1906 and moved to America in 1909. His name was Adolph. I was very interested in learning more about my German heritage when I was in college so I took German 101. I only learned how to count to ten. But I often pronounce my last name in a German accent. Valter!

I seriously thought about postponing college to be a dancer. (Hey, that's what a lot of girls from my hometown do.) But I mean like a real dancer. I wasn't a ballerina or ballroom dancer, but I could hit better than Beyonce. So I wanted to make my living as a backup dancer. But alas, I went to college instead. Now I have a degree, but I haven't lost my moves. Maybe one day I'll get to share the stage with Britney Spears.

I love to cook, but I didn't learn that until I was 21. I had never cooked a meal before. I didn't cook when I lived at home because my mom and sister are both marvelous chefs. My first three years of college I lived in either a dorm or the sorority house, so I didn't have a kitchen to cook in. Then, my senior year, I moved into a house with a very nice kitchen (and my very first dishwasher). My life changed completely. Now I'm a master chef. (Well, I'm a pretty damn good cook.) I volunteered to cook Easter dinner this past Sunday. The spread included cornish game hens, garlic & rosemary new potatoes, parmesan roasted asparagus, and corn succotash.

I'm very particular about toilets. When I was in high school and when I was in college - and now at bars, restaurants, and work...I always use the same stall in each building. If I'm about to wet my pants and there are 5 open stalls, but the one I prefer is taken, I wait for it.

My first love was music. I chose MTV's Headbangers Ball over Sesame Street. I remember setting the VHS tape to record Eric Clapton Unplugged. (I was four.) I was devastated when Kurt Cobain died. (I was six.) My two favorite tapes were Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette) and Jackyl (Jackyl). And then, when I was 10, I got a CD player and got to choose 10 CDs to go with it. Of course I bought Hanson and the Spice Girls. But I also got Ace of Base, Jock Jams, Nirvana, and 5 others.  I bought CDs on their release date. I downloaded every song on Napster before it was shut down. I've had almost every generation of iPod. These days, it's still the same. Except I buy vinyl, go to concerts weekly, and am now writing a music blog!

Tell me 5 things about you.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


I'm sure you saw your social media blow up with red equal signs last week, just as I did mine. 

That was my profile picture for two days.

I would have left it longer except I was starting to get annoyed with myself. I wanted to post so many things but felt the need to stay simple. I shared my opinion by saying, 

I don't support "gay marriage". I support freedom. And in that, the word "gay" shouldn't even matter. It's about the freedom to marry whomever you love. Freedom. For all.

I shared the Macklemore & Ryan Lewis video for "Same Love" in which he says,

I might not be the same, but that's not important. No freedom til we're equal. Damn right I support it.

And I reposted a quote from Life of Bon where she said,

There's some big stuff going on today with gay marriage. My religion supports traditional marriages and I do too because that was the best choice for me, personally. But who am I to take away someone else's freedom to choose their path to happiness, however different from mine it may be? I believe in marriage between a man and a woman, but even more strongly I believe in the incredible gift God gave us to choose for ourselves, and so I say yes to gay marriage.

I wanted to say so much more, but my feed was flooded with anti-gay rights words, so I just had to back off and leave it alone. Because I knew a Facebook comment wouldn't change anything.

In my opinion, the worst thing one can do is to be so closed-minded that you're not able to look at things from a different perspective and possibly (gasp!) even change your mind.

I come from a small Mississippi town in the middle of the Bible belt. My mom had us in church as early as I remember. I was baptized at 8. During the pre-teen years, my mom quit going. I kept on. I made the decision, at 14 years old, to switch a different church. (Albeit, it really had nothing to do with beliefs -- it was for the social scene.) But I kept myself in church because it was what I wanted. I'm glad I did, because the Christian beliefs that were taught to me as a youngster have a large impact on what I believe today.

When I was in high school, I had a friend confide in me about being gay. I told her I "supported" her and didn't "judge" her...but that I didn't agree with it. I shot some shit back about how God is love and God doesn't agree with gay so gay can't love. Yeah. I said that. That's not supportive. And it is judgy. And to this day, it might be my biggest regret. God is love. And so we need to love everyone, no matter who they love or what they look like or if they own a gun or if they're a fashion blogger. (Sometimes it's hard to love those fashion bloggers.)

I believe in God and Christian teachings. I still attend church. (Though I'm back to the original denomination my mom started me in, as I felt the one I'd switched to was a bit judgmental and non-accepting and had rubbed off on me a little too much.) I love God and I love His people. And I think you should, too.

And even that has nothing to do with marriage laws. Because this country was founded on the freedom of religion. 

And that is all I have to say about that.

Monday, April 1, 2013


March went by too fast. So I only had time to accomplish 3 of my goals. I'm seriously slacking here, guys.

I still haven't sold my Land Rover. Because it needs a new battery and I'm the biggest procrastinator on the planet. I even have people interested that want to see it. And all I have to do is slap a new battery in there, drain the oil and gas and fill her back up (because it's been sitting still for a couple months), wash her and wax her...and now I'm worn out from just listing those. I'm never gonna sell it. I watched 5 movies that I'd never seen, but none of the classics that I meant to watch. I saw Safe Haven, The Paperboy, Pretty in Pink, Singles, and The Words. I also rewatched He's Just Not That Into You, Pearl Harbor, Argo, and The Town. All of my old clothes are ready for the consignment sale! A million dresses, guys. I transferred the majority of my music to my Mac, so I'll count that as a win. I think I can do without this song on my iPhone for the time being. And my biggest fail of all. Instead of losing 1 pound, I gained 3. So I'm down 2 for the year.

Time to try again.

1. Reread 2 "assigned" books

2. No meat

3. No soda

4. 30 Day Shred

5. Lose 3 pounds

I want to reread The Great Gatsby before the movie comes out next month. While I'm at it, I plan to read at least one more book that I was "assigned" in either high school or college. Books are so different when you're reading for pleasure. I think I'll choose between Wuthering Heights or Catch-22.

I've gone semi-veg before where I only allowed myself to eat meat once a week and I felt so good. This time, for 30 days, I won't be eating meat at all.

I've never been a soda drinker. I'd drink the occasional Mt. Dew or Root Beer (of course, the two worst soft drinks ever), but it wasn't anywhere near regular. But then I got a roommate who loves Mt. Dew and always has a few in the fridge. They're so tempting and I got to drinking 2 or more a day. Not anymore.

30 days in the month. 30 days in the shred. Happening.

Because I've been such a slacker on my 1 pound a month, I've gotta step it up this month. Especially since I'm going to the beach in May.

Are you sticking to your 2013 goals better than I am?