Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Dating Diaries: Vol 4

It's Not You...It's Me.

I've mentioned before that my last serious relationship ended in 2010. Three years ago. I have told everyone (and myself) that I ended it because there were things about him that I didn't think I could handle for the rest of my life. (He walked slow. He talked slow. He always scratched his head while ordering food. He mixed up your and you're.) But was the thought of "for the rest of my life" that bothered me the most. Because I knew, eventually, that's where it was headed. I was about to graduate college. He had graduated the year before and stayed in Oxford...for me. To wait on me. To wait on us. And that terrified me because I don't think I'm cut our for "us".

I had been casually seeing a guy for a couple months. I had a great time with him, but it was very casual. As far as I knew, we weren't exclusive. Then I had the opportunity to casually see someone else. And even though we weren't exclusive, I turned it down because I only wanted to see him. And in that moment, I realized that it was probably time to end things. Because I don't think I'm cut out for "us".

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