Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Bachelorette, eh?

I'm getting back to my roots. My blog took off when I wrote about the Bachelorette, and I'm still watching. Kaitlyn has been one of my favorites, so far. Ben H, too.

It is infuriating me how the episodes are split this season. I like organization and having a rose ceremony in the middle of an episode is stressing me out. Here's a little recap to get us caught up.

-Kaitlyn is awesome because she's fun and knows that a relationship is more than just deep emotional conversation. Which is why Johnny Bravo needs to go, but more on that later.

-Clint (a.k.a. clean cut Jax Teller) was one of my favorites in the beginning. He was a bit of a douche, but I think his storyline was exaggerated by the producers. I also think it was highly offensive for them to make it seem like he was gay because they wanted ratings.

-I thought Ian (a.k.a. frontal lobe damage) was one of the most attractive men on this season, but he was a cocky, slut shaming douche with no real personality. I'll use the word "douche" a lot when describing these men because I think that's one of the boxes that has to be checked for them to pass the casting screening. Are you a douche? Yeah, pretty much. Okay, you're on!

-The situation with Nick V (a.k.a. douchelord), I must discuss. First, I think Kaitlyn made a mistake. (Not only because he is also a douche, but…) I think she knows she made a mistake. You shouldn't have sex with your boyfriend when you have like 10 other boyfriends. You just shouldn't. When she narrows it down to just one and then they watch the season…that's not gonna be good. Even though the guys signed up for this, they didn't really sign up for that. I also don't think that sex should be being had in the fantasy suite. First of all, the person going last would probably feel kinda icky, but the point is you're still dating other guys, so you're basically cheating. But, the more important issue here is the slut shaming going on. Every season of the Bachelor, something like this happens. Juan Pablo with Clare in the ocean,  Ben with Courtney in the ocean, even Chris with someone in a tent or something. When it's the guy, they never explicitly say what happened, but at the same time make the girl look like the villain. And here, though Kaitlyn is in the shoes of JP, Ben, and Chris (not Clare, Courtney, and whoever that was)…they still turn the girl into the villain. Hey! Guess what! Girls have sex, too!

So now we're all caught up. But things are different this time. Instead of narrowing from 6 to 4 and having hometowns…she's narrowing from 6 to 3 and having fantasy suite dates..and then hometowns when she gets to 2. Dun Dun Dun…so shocking. Um, actually I've always thought that's how it should be.

We have Ben H. She can't pick Ben H. because I want Ben H. But I think he might have a shot. Chris (a.k.a. cupcake dentist guy?) already got sent home and cried. I think she and Jared are perfect for each other, but ultimately, I don't see her choosing him.

Then we have Joe (Kentucky Boy) who is sweet but is totally going home. Nick who is so awful and needs to go home, but probably won't. And Shawn (a.k.a. Johnny Bravo), who has dug himself a grave by being way too serious and making her feel like shit for having other boyfriends when she's the Bachelorette and that's how this thing works.

The only thing I'm sure of is that Jared is making it to the top 3.

What do y'all think?

all images via ABC.com

Monday, June 29, 2015

Down with the Shine

After nearly three years of amazing ups and disastrous downs, the downs finally won out. A & I have called it quits. I never believed it when people said sometimes love isn't enough, but now I know that's true. We had the strongest love for each other. But it wasn't enough. You also need devotion and compassion and compromise and timing. We didn't have any of those, so love lost. I am heartbroken and will always have love for him, but I know this is best for both of us.

There's nothing good, because nothing lasts
And all that comes here, it comes here to pass
I would voice my pain, but the change wouldn't last
All that comes, it comes here to pass
-The Avett Brothers

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Finding Myself Again

Since I moved over to the new space, Faye & A, I've only posted a handful of times. None of which felt like me. It's good to be home again.

A & I are still together, but I had a realization that I need to find myself again & not only be the Faye to his A. Our relationship lately has been a bit of a rock climb. Sometimes I'm not sure if we're nearing a peak or about to lose our grip. I take a large part of the blame for that, because I'm holding onto his rope instead of my own. (Whoa at the cheesy analogy…I've been watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette for too long.)

I was always extremely independent. In life in general, but especially in relationships. That changed with A. I thought it was normal because I had found the one, so instead of me & him, it was us. That's not how it is, though. And I suppose it's not how it should be. Instead of a duo, we're solo acts who have chosen to share the same stage. (Damn you, ABC.)

We have different schedules, but I have worked around mine for him. We have different interests, but I have set mine aside for his. That's not working for me anymore. I need to find myself so that I can be me instead of just being part of us.

And actually, the first part of finding myself is going to be to stop lying to myself. So I take back what I said about us being solo acts on a shared stage. That's not how it should be. We should be doing this thing together. And no, that doesn't mean that we have to spend every free moment together or that we have to sacrifice everything for the other (which it seems I keep doing). We should be equal parts of a whole. We should be a duo. And I should be holding onto his rope, and he mine. But if we don't carry our own weight and give each other a little more slack, we're crashing fast.