Thursday, May 18, 2017

Bachelorette: Meet the Men

It's been a while since I've written anything here...especially Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad/Bachelor in Paradise/Bachelor Breakup recaps, but I feel compelled to do it. I think what really drew me back in was the Tickle Monster, but we'll get to that later.

Next Monday, Rachel's journey on the Bachelorette begins. She has 31 men to meet/date/kiss/dump.


I am going to read all of their bios and list my thoughts below. (From the cast photos, I only think 3 of them are attractive BUT the cast photos are always terrible, so I'll wait until they get out of the limo to judge their looks.)

Visit ABC to read the bios in full.

One dude (and yes, a lot of these guys are dudes and not men) says that the most romantic gift he has ever received was a threesome. Adam. You're terrible.

Wow. Alex's answer to "what are your 3 worst attributes?" is selfish, unemotional, unapologetic. THOSE ARE LITERALLY THE THREE WORST THINGS YOU COULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. And you were one of the guys I thought was attractive. Shame.

Anthony has the best bio so he's either a great guy or a great bullshitter.

Multiple people like The Rock. And Will Smith. And Denzel Washington. And Matthew McConaughey.

A 37 year old man should not be saying LOL.

Inner lip tattoo. (Make that plural.)

Diggy is the worst.

And there's also a guy named Iggy.

Jamey might be a serial killer.

Jonathan is going to get friend-zoned very quickly.

Josiah is A+.

Mohit is going to be the funny guy.

I like Matt. And Peter. And Rob. But I like Anthony the best.

Best(ahem, worst) jobs: Aspiring Drummer (at age 31), Male Model (but totally looks like he just does J.C. Penney catalogs so he's probably unemployed now), Tickle Monster, Professional Wrestler, Singer/Songwriter, Whaboom??? What is whaboom?


I can't wait to "meet" these guys on Monday. This is gonna be fun!